The Perfect Character (and why I want to kick his ass)
Monday, April 9, 2012 at 06:11AM 
It's like trying to find the right clothes for THIS guyA little over half my adult life ago, I devised the greatest character of my life. Now I dream of nothing more than beating him to death with a shovel.
The problem is, I love this guy. I've just never been able to find the right story to go with him. Normally, that's not a problem for me, but this character is so rich, so good, so complex, that no story I put him in does him justice.
I've said it before ‒ characters are jerks. They're willful, spiteful, stubborn little children who refuse to go quietly. To get them to do what you want takes a sound thrashing, and lots of tormenting them with obstacles, traps, and enemies you'd never in a million years want to encounter for yourself.
And herein lies the rub ‒ I love this character so much, I don't want to hurt him. I've committed the biggest sin a writer can commit ‒ I've become emotionally attached to one of my own creations.
Being a guy, I now want to kick his ass, because he's brought me no end of grief. If he were a female character, I'd want to cheat on her with a hot waitress who looks just like her!
Especially if she looks like this!
I've written tons of stories since I first came up with the guy (and his too-perfect name), but after every story I write, I read it back and think "Still gotta figure out John's story…"
Writers are weirdoes, of course. We all know that. And it's an occupational hazard to become bonded to our characters and stories. These creatures are our offspring. We nurture them, develop them, hurl challenges at them, and, in the end, save their souls. And it's hard for us to put them out in the world, because letting go takes courage.
And once in a while, we go off the deep end and develop a story or a character that we just can't git r' done with. We can't just pound it out. Can't just throw a character into any old thing.
For all you overprotective writer parents out there, I just want to say, you're not alone. I don't have an answer for you, but you're not alone. All of us have that one story in our heads, or that one character in our brains, that just defies all attempts to put it down. A lot of us overcome it, which I hope to do too.
But I don't know. This character of mine owns my ass. And I'd really like to get it back.
How 'bout you? Got a character or a plot or an idea that's been haunting you forever? Leave the world a comment below, we'd all like to know about it.
Reader Comments (7)
I'm so glad that Liam does his own thing - this would drive me nuts! I do, however, have a story in mind that I've been mulling over for YEARS - the title eludes me still, as does the plot. I have the characters in my head, and I know the story revolves around the moon and mankind's fascination with it. That's it. It's never got further than that in my head, which is rather odd, but it also hasn't left my head, which is rather annoying! I even have an MS Word document saved on my PC for it, with nothing in it other than what I've just said, basically. *bangs head into desk*
Perhaps it's time to let John find his own story? What I mean by that is this: when I have a great character idea and try to invent a story to go with him or her, it never works for me. I have to take my hat off to you if it usually works for you. However, when I take that character, consider what he or she might be doing at any given time of day, then start writing that scene... the rest just flows. I can't truly explain it, but it's almost like a feed, like I'm channelling from somewhere.
So basically, I start writing the scene where the character is doing whatever it is they spend their days or nights doing, and whatever pops into my head to happen next, no matter how ridiculous it might sound, I write it. Usually, it all ends up making sense in the end, and people have commented on the amount of planning I put into those stories, when, in fact, there was zero planning involved. Sometimes I do plan, but usually not - it's quite a weird experience, really, and I'm half convinced that these characters really exist somewhere and their stories are really happening - as you say, writers are strange and I'm no exception. Right, now that I've made myself out to be demented and deluded... :p
Some thoughts/questions that might help:
What's the one thing John won't be able to cope with? Put him through it, or make him think he might have to go through it. Let his reactions happen naturally - how would a guy with his personality and in his situation/current mindframe react to that? Would it maybe make him do something stupid? What would the consequences of that stupid action be? Would the stupid action have a domino effect? If he is scornful of something, for example the existence of ghosts, how would he react if confronted by one? Perhaps create an enemy for John, who he just can't get rid of. Maybe some psycho he walked into by mistake in a shopping mall, who then follows him home and stalks him. A friend of mine once dated a policewoman, and, when he broke up with her, she used to sit outside his house in her patrol car, just watching his house. Talk about creepy! What are his weaknesses? Let those lead him on a rollercoaster ride. The story will just happen from there, due to the consequences of his actions.
Any action has a reaction or consequence, so basically, let his character dictate what happens. The perfect story for him will just happen then, I'm sure :)
I'm sure you already know all these things, but I know from experience how easy it is to 'forget' what we know when we're frustrated with something like this!
In theory, I agree with you... But yeah, in practice, that's another story :)
I think it's a case of being in the right mindframe too. It's often hard to let your characters do their own thing, especially if you have no idea where it's going!
Unless that hot waitress is a picture of your wife, Scott, you're in trouble.
As for characters, I usually try to put in characters that at least resemble people I know. For example, the main character in my first novel is a combination of my two kids. Maybe that's why I didn't kill him off, and invented a reason that he never gets badly hurt. On the other hand, I'm brutal to most of the other characters, and most of them are based on people I know, or combinations of people I know. That way, their reactions are more believable. I hope.
And I see where you're coming from. In my book, lots and lots of soldiers die. Sometimes I feel a little bit bad about that. Then again, I created them. And my invisible friend reminds me "they're not real."
Hmmm, well since I don't write fiction this is an easy "out" for me. Or so you would think. I have enough life episodes (unfinished) in my head to drive any sane woman mad. Then there is the problem of telling it like it is without pissing everyone off so much that they will run you over when you go to your driveway to get your paper. Yeah, non fiction can be rough stuff too. Take heart, there are problems in every arena. Grass is never greener on the other side. Meet you in crazy-ville for a margarita!
Lots of characters haunt me. Probably four novels full.
That said, if you're really in love with the character, you need to write his story. People don't become perfect out of the blue, and perfect people don't stay that way for long if they're out in the real world. It's easy to stay perfect when your beliefs are never put at risk. In my current WIP, I have a character who has these strict rules he's always lived by (or so he believes), but they've never actually been challenged. Now they're being put into practice and the result is a lot of suffering and damage and chaos. So one of the things I like best about this character--he tries not to hurt people--is a really a vulnerability. Fact is, he is pretty good at hurting people and blowing things up . Almost everyone is, when provoked, and all of the rules in the world can't change that. I'm not sure how relevant that is to "John's" situation, but most character traits are double-edged, and the only way that can be understood and demonstrated conclusively is to write it out. It can't be theoretical.
If I had a character I loved who didn't have a story, I think I'd start with "a day in the life." Start with him waking up, shaving, and eating a bowl of Cheerios. Who eats Cheerios in a "perfect" way? What does he look at and think about first thing in the morning? His kids? The newspaper? His to-do list? His gun collection? If he's really that complex and interesting, a story will emerge out of these mundane details.
Alternatively, I might start him off in conflict. I'm rereading Friday (Heinlein) and I love the first few lines: "As I left the Kenya Beanstalk capsule he was right on my heels. He followed me through the door leading to Customs. As the door contracted behind him I killed him." Leaving aside the sci-fi stuff, it's a perfect opening line, putting the character in a position to demonstrate her abilities (and her chilling coldness) with very little exposition. If you're really stuck, I'd try something like that with your character.
"When Overton got on at Grand Central Terminal, John Perfect knew he had to get off the train..."
I just started reading your blog today, and I couldn't help but smile at this. I have that situation and am loving the advice that's in the comments but at the same time, feeling that
"Writers are weirdoes, of course. We all know that. And it's an occupational hazard to become bonded to our characters and stories. These creatures are our offspring. We nurture them, develop them, hurl challenges at them, and, in the end, save their souls. And it's hard for us to put them out in the world, because letting go takes courage."
That part right there couldn't be more true. Letting go of this character and this story has been a challenge. In a way I'm almost terrified to let go of the story because it isn't "Perfect" for the character.
Hopefully I build up the courage... in the meantime I'll continue to be the weirdo listing to my character as he tells me what works and what doesn't.
Look forward to reading more!